FISI

Anyone watch the program on hyenas, last weekend on the tele? Well, if you didn’t it was quite something. Hyenas are matrilineal. Okay, I don’t think you get it. Hyenas are the S. I. unit, the pH extreme of matrilineal. Apparently the packs are female headed, female run, female owned and the only males in the pack are the baby hyenas and a few adult males allowing into the pack for siring and [ahem…] purposes. The hierarchy is simple. No. 1. Big Momma hyena. No. 2. Other Sista hyenas No. 3. All the baby hyenas. What? Oh, you want me to go on to no.4? Okay then No. 4. Where is that male we keep around here? He can come number 4. Basically, if you are a male hyena and you are not a baby and not a great lay, boy, you need to reconsider your options because being in a pack is not one of them. Just watching this made me think, “Lord, if there is any possibility that I may have to be reincarnated, please, please let me come back as a female hyena.” Sistas doing it for themselves… There is a God. That was until about a third of the way into the program. Now I don’t remember the exact sequence of events but fundamentally what happened was that baby hyena went to play with daddy hyena. Daddy hyena wasn’t in the mood to play so he cowered away. Baby was having none of that so he went and told Big Momma. Then all hell broke loose. Big Momma was onto Daddy like a ton of bricks [literally, the females are larger!] She mauled him, nipped at him, slapped him and bit him until he was all bruised and battered. Then the Sisterhood, in the spirit of co-operation, decided to help out their Big Momma and teach Mr. Thang a thing or two. By the time they were done, Daddy’s nose was ripped off, his lower lip had a huge gash, his flanks were bloody and he was limping. Speak of anger management! Them girls have got serious issues! Someone needs rehab!! Looking for business ideas? There’s one - Hyena Anger Management Counselling Centre - Females Only. All this reminded me of contemporary Kenyan society. Now, let me start by confessing, I like Kenyan men. Granted, I like men generally and I ain’t ashamed to say so, but Kenyan men, I have a soft spot for them. I know, I know, as a Kenyan woman, it is my duty and responsibility to rag on men, say how useless, hopeless, drunken, cheating, abusive, foko-jembes [sic] (to borrow a friend’s phrase)they are. Still, I confess, I like them. To listen to the radio stations, though, you would be hard pressed not to believe that all Kenyan men are in fact, lying, cheating, drunken, chain-smoking, juvenile, immature, insecure, dogging louts [girls, did I leave anything out?] who are good for nothing but procreation and pocket money [the former without panache or even skill; the latter without reliability]. The magazines are full of ‘proof’ and ‘advice’. “How to keep your [cheating] Man”. “Loving a Modern Man”. “How to get your Thirty-Something Man To Move out of his Momma’s House”. Now, I am not going to argue that there are no lying, cheating…. Etc men but please, what about the other men? What about the divorcees fighting to see their children, the widowers changing their toddlers’ nappies? What of the decent, spiritual family men struggling to retain their masculinity in an increasingly androgynous world where all things male are viewed suspiciously? Who’s giving a shout out to the men who still see their kids even though they’ve broken up with their Baby Mommas? Don’t get me started on the ones seeking professional help for anger management, sex addictions, alcohol or drug problems or simply marital counselling so they can be better men for the women they love? What about them? Hey, men aren’t perfect, but let’s face it, girls, neither are we. And the men we are with, are the products of our fathers, and their fathers, and heaven knows, lots of the homes we grew in did not exactly have great male role models. With all the nit-picking, down talking, name calling, criticising about men, do we risk creating a hyena society? THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Your words create your world.