TAKE 2 PANADOLS & CALL ME IN THE MORNING

It’s happened! You can’t believe it but it has actually happened to you! Your worst nightmare! The one thing you thought would never happen. Your spouse has left you. You knew it was bad, but you always hoped against hope that somehow, you’d fix it. After all, this is you and her... or him. Divorce happens to those people, not you guys. You’re soul mates. You are a match made in heaven. You are… well, right now you are shell shocked. Somewhere at the back of your mind, you suspected it was coming to this but now that you are here, it’s.. well, it’s... how can you put words to what you are feeling? Pain searing across your gut so strongly that you feel like throwing up; anguish so deep you double over and let out an involuntary moan, misery so throbbing you can hear the blood pound in your blindingly aching head. Surely it is not possible to feel something so breathtakingly agonising and still be alive… or so you thought. You hope it isn’t true, it isn’t happening to you, but it already has. And you don’t have the luxury to engage the excruciating stabbing hurt, because the kids need to be dropped off at school, the boss needs the report on his desk, your business partner needs you to make a decision on the next consignment. People need you. Your feelings will just have to wait. The phone rings and startles you out of your nightmare on Elm Street. It’s your mother. You consider not answering but you know you’re just putting off the inevitable. You pick up. She asks. You answer. She asks again. You answer. She yells. You sigh and say ‘yes, mum’, ‘no, mum’, ‘can I call you back, mum?’ It’s hardly 7 am yet it has already began. Pretty soon, everyone will call you. You. Not her. Not him. You. Because you are the strong one. You are the responsible one. You are the one who everyone knows can fix this. In fact, it’s pretty near damned irresponsible of you to be allowing this to happen. How dare you do this to them. How dare you fail in your marriage? You, the successful so-and-so? You must be joking! Of course it is your fault. Who cares what your version is. Spare us the pitiful details. We already bought into her story. Now fix it! We want fairy tales with happy endings not woeful stories from a man so near broken he doesn’t know if he can make it to the end of today. You don’t bother defending yourself. It makes no difference. You are the strong one. You are expected to take the licks like a man, or like a woman. The best you can do is brace yourself. There’s definitely more to come. You sigh again and squeeze your eyes shut as a stray tear escapes from the corner of your eye. Then a little voice at the door says “Dad, are you awake?” You put on your best dad voice and say, “Yes, sweetheart, come on in”. She does. All bleary eyed and wrinkle faced from sleeping on her teddy bear. “Dad, are you okay?” she asks. You smile bravely. “Yes baby, I am.” She looks at you critically. You know she sees right through you. “Dad“, she says, climbing onto the bed, “Dad, don’t worry. You’ll be just fine”. Then she hugs you round the neck and nuzzles her chin into your shoulder. And just like that, you know you can face today. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Even warriors cry.