OF FRAGILE WARRIORS

I’m re-reading Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s, “The Dance”. A former client got me onto the author. Never having heard of her, I was surprised when he recited, word for word, the poem that gives the book its’ title. The bit that captivates me today ...” don’t tell me how wonderful things will be ... someday. Show me you can risk being completely at peace, Truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment, And again in the next and the next and the next...” “I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring. Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall, The place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will. What carries you to the other side of that wall, To the fragile beauty of your own humanness?” Immediately, I think to myself, obviously this woman does not live in the normal world, does not have the normal kind of thoughts we humans do, and there is no way she can have dreams, desires , children or TV [or newspapers for that matter]. We all know these preclude “being completely at peace...now”. How can anyone be at peace with markets crumbling, countries breaking [or should I say, specifically, Britain breaking], children missing school because of corruption, people dying of starvation while government granaries are looted... As for the telling of how I “crumble when you hit the wall”... who wants to hear those stories? Who wants to hear stories other than warrior stories? We sent boys and girls “to the river” precisely to become warriors, to withstand the immense pain of circumcision without flinching. I think to myself, this woman must be out of her mountain dreaming mind. Then I read on, grudgingly. And I get to the crux of the matter. Am I willing to be happy no matter my circumstances? My knee-jerk response? Hell, no!! Then I pause and give it a second thought. Being happy no matter the circumstances would mean that my external circumstances or the immediate situation in my life would no longer have an emotional hold over me. Perhaps it means that I could do what I need to do to rectify what is wrong, to make the choices and take the actions I need to without worrying or suffering. It sounds too good to be true. Yet I long to divorce my happiness comes from accomplishments and live out of a genuine place of inner of joy – and that is the way it should be, isn’t it? A part of me says, no. Life is for strife, suffering, compromise and youthful dreams suffocated under the weight of bills, mortgages and “reality”. Yet, even as that part says so, some other bit, deeper within responds, “That’s not true and you know it deep within you.” If it was true, I would not be in conflict. I would not find this challenging. I would not long for that peace. And joy. And the truth is, I do. Somehow, I suspect, you long for it too. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Omniscience is omnipotent and omnipresent. There’s no distance between the unknown and the known – the known is manifest from the unknown merely by the asking. - David Hawkins (c) Renee Ngamau